9 Words a Creative Director Should Never Say

As a Creative Director, I have tons of respect for my brethren and sistren.  Leading the way for a new project is often a delicate balancing act - reinforce branding, look for new angles, explore new ways of telling stories, ensure continuity, anticipate production issues, and bring emotion to the concept - all while inspiring your staff.

There are many ways to be successful at this.  However, there is one sure-fire way to virtually guarantee frustration and despair.  Simply utter these nine little words:

"I'LL KNOW WHAT I WANT WHEN I SEE IT."  

Nothing brings about the glaze in the eyes and deep sigh more than this stab at creative direction.  Aside from the refusal to lead, it tells creatives that either...

a) this project isn't important enough to sit down and really think about it, 
b) I haven't sat down and really thought about it, or 
c) I'm going to play mix-and-match with submitted concepts and "fix the unsolvable problem" myself.

Too often, the answer is (c), and it's particularly brutal.  Many superfluous rounds will ensue until you finally issue your Solomon-like edict.  It's even worse when the completed project is accompanied by "See?  This is what I was looking for."

As Creative Director, you're not supposed to have all the answers.  But you do have to provide a roadmap, even if gets tossed halfway down the road.

Which reminds me of a related story (h/t to Mike Matousek, perhaps the best designer in the biz)...

I was helping launch a professional women's soccer team.  Their head of marketing was a pleasant enough woman who wasn't particularly adept at providing clear direction.   We ended up going down many roads; after each attempt, I began to question my sanity.  Despite all my active listening, we still had "miscommunication."
 
Eventually, we progressed to the point of no return - original music.  With music-man Dave Cebert standing by, I asked her for direction.  

"I 'LL KNOW WHAT I WANT WHEN I SEE IT" was about to be joined by its evil twin,
"I'LL KNOW WHAT I WANT WHEN I HEAR IT."

Me:  "Which song would you like to use as our starting point?" 

She: "You know... that song they always play at the stadiums..."

Me: "Uhh... Rock and Roll Part 2?"

She: "No, not that."

Me: "We Will Rock You?"

She: "No, you know, it's the song they always play..."

Me: "Na Na Na Na, Na Na Na Na, Hey Hey, Goodbye?"

Me: "We Are The Champions?"

Me: "Day-O?"

Me: "Pump up the Jam?"

Me: "I Like to Move It?"

Me: "Welcome to The Jungle?"

Me: "Blitzkrieg Bop?"

Me: "Mony Mony?"

She: "Yeah, that's it."

Ed:  "Great.  So we'll create something like Mony Mony."

She: "Um... OK... Let's see how it goes."

George Carlin once gave us seven words you can't say on television.
These nine words should never be used by Creative Directors in television.

-Ed "Tuned In" Roth

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